


the worst groupchat ever

by jumpinjazzcat



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: I am not sorry, M/M, chatfic, i stole a lot of jokes from my friends, just absolute hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumpinjazzcat/pseuds/jumpinjazzcat
Summary: it's a chatfic and richjake continues to be the most chaotic couple everthe squip doesn't exist in this one cuz i hate the squip...they're in senior year! uhhhhhhhh jeremy and michael are gonna be in part two! most of the shit said in this is from the quotes channel in my friend's server so yeah <3 love u guys have fun and enjoy!
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski
Kudos: 18
Collections: Richjake fluff





	1. the worst groupchat ever (part one)

**Author's Note:**

> shortking is Rich (it changes to courtjester later on)  
> jakeyd is Jake  
> xoxogossipgirl is Jenna  
> getlohst is Brooke  
> willyoubemyvalentine is Chloe  
> infairverona is Christine

**> jakeyd, getlohst, xoxogossipgirl, and willyoubemyvalentine just slid into the server!**

shortking: HEY SQUAD WELCOME TO HELL

xoxogossipgirl: hi richie rich

willyoubemyvalentine: bonjour

shortking: omg italian

jakeyd: rich...that's french...ur so dumb

shortking: wow the first thing u say in the server is an insult? and btw it was a joke 

jakeyd: jokes are supposed to be funny, babe <3

shortking: i hate u i'm never kissing u again

jakeyd: oh noooooooo

shortking: im never having sex with you again <3

xoxogossipgirl: not much of a threat when ur the bottom

jakeyd: ...

shortking: IM GOING TO KILL U JENNA

willyoubemyvalentine: personally i thought that rich's joke was very funny

getlohst: i agree with chloe

shortking: chloe and brooke are the MVPs tbh

xoxogossipgirl: what about me?

shortking: ur third on the true mvp list

xoxogossipgirl: valid

shortking: im gonna be daphne from scooby doo for halloween and im gonna wear a skirt

shortking: i am a femboy

jakeyd: you are my enemy

xoxogossipgirl: jake is so chaotic and unhinged 

willyoubemyvalentine: nah that's rich

shortking: i will end your live laugh life if you ever say such slander ever again

jakeyd: mans is on hard drugs at all times and that's ok

shortking: shut up

getlohst: rich go take ur meds u dumb fart

shortking: mmmmm crunchity muchity i love my antidepressants

jakeyd: piss <3

getlohst: n o

xoxogossipgirl: piss can do many things

xoxogossipgirl: like necromancy

shortking: y'all are the chaotic ones tbh

getlohst: we need a mom friend in heere

willyoubemyvalentine: in heere lolz

jakeyd: the only calm friend we have is christine

shortking: ur right i'll send her an invite

**> infairverona just slid into the server!**

jakeyd: welcome

infairverona: Hi guys!

xoxogossipgirl: hi christine

getlohst: hey hey hey

willyoubemyvalentine: hola

shortking: omg french

jakeyd: STOP MAKING THAT JOKE ITS NOT FUNNY

shortking: IM GOING TO KILL YOU! IM GOING TO SLICE UR HEAD OF WITH A SWORD

jakeyd: you're such a drama queen

infairverona: You should be in the school play, Rich!

shortking: you see, id join, but its all the homophobic kids or gay artsy kids, and thats not a good tension on stage

jakeyd: hajlgaghilfs

infairverona: Oh dear, you've broken him

getlohst: ur not a short king, ur the court jester

**shortking changed their nickname to courtjester**

courtjester: ooh hoo let me do a little dance

jakeyd: KAJHAGJGDAGDAK

infairverona: Jake is broken, guys

willyoubemyvalentine: jake.exe has stopped working

getlohst: he malfunctioned

xoxogossipgirl: rip jake ): fly high

jakeyd: SHUT THE TRICK UP IM DYING

courtjester: haha trick

jakeyd: literally shut up

courtjester: seriously im gonna slice u in half with a sword

infairverona: Your sword has to have a name

courtjester: ooooooooooooh good point i'm gonna call it....

willyoubemyvalentine: *drumroll*

courtjester: PUSSY SLAYER!

willyoubemyvalentine: *crickets*

courtjester: wow chloe ur no longer an mvp

willyoubemyvalentine: piss <3

courtjester: wow i just can't escape the piss huh

infairverona: I have to work on my history project but I don't want to

courtjester: isnt it about alexander hamilton? just listen to the hamilton soundtrack

jakeyd: i love the idea that the founding fathers rapped

jakeyd: i pledge allegiance to the swag B)

courtjester: yeah i havent started my project cuz ive been playing minecraft and watching youtube videos abt it

xoxogossipgirl: you have no chill

courtjester: its too late for me, minecraft content creators have taken over my body soul and mind. there is no escape for me no more.

willyoubemyvalentine: gonna go visit my gran at the nursing hoe

getlohst: nursing hoe

infairverona: Chloe at the nursing hoe

xoxogossipgirl: nursing hoe is just that one mean girl who becomes a nurse and sucks at it

**courtjester pinned a message to this channel!**

xoxogossipgirl: out of all of the things that you could've pinned, you pinned that?

willyoubemyvalentine: bye bye friends

jakeyd: in the words of the best boy band ever, bye bye bye

infairverona: Daily reminder that Tally Hall is a boy band!

courtjester: idk how u can be the lead singer of tally freaking hall and be enbyphobic like what?????? do u not know ur audience

jakeyd: sjkajehfiuasjk

courtjester: like damn as if greener isnt the perfect soundtrack for questioning your gender identity

infairverona: Greener is so good

courtjester: after hours of listening to greener on repeat, i have decided that my gender is femboy with a dash of chad

jakeyd: femboys are the cause of the fall of america

courtjester: no ur thinking of capitalism

infairverona: Capitalism is so crappy

getlohst: communism is when no phone

xoxogossipgirl: the government is just

xoxogossipgirl: an amoeba rotating 45 degrees constantly

getlohst: femboys are the backbone of society

courtjester: OK VIBE CHECK TIME! what's everyone's aesthetic? mine is chaoscore obviously

getlohst: mine is bimbocore

xoxogossipgirl: i guess y2k but i wish i was a cottagecore bitch tbh

getlohst: cottagewhore

courtjester: AJKJFSGFIWUKA

**> courtjester has pinned a message to this channel!**

jakeyd: idk mine

getlohst: himbocore

infairverona: Himbocore

getlohst: OMG CHRISTINE WE SAID THE SAME THING!

infairverona: Great minds think alike

getlohst: great minds think alike

infairverona: WE DID IT AGAIN

jakeyd: soul twins

courtjester: christine's aesthetic is theater kid...but like...distinguished theater kid

xoxogossipgirl: ^^

courtjester: chloe's is...popular girl in an 80's/90's movie

xoxogossipgirl: cluelesscore

courtjester: YES

courtjester: ok who wants to go to pinkberry

xoxogossipgirl: me

getlohst: me

jakeyd: me

courtjester: christine, you wanna come with us?

infairverona: Yeah! I'll meet you guys there in 20 minutes?

getlohst: okay! rich, jake, jenna, i'll pick u up in my mom's car


	2. the worst groupchat ever (part two: electric boogaloo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was too lazy to add Michael and Jeremy to this

courtjester: hey clowns

jakeyd: ur literally the court jester u cant call us clowns

xoxogossipgirl: yeah rich ur below us sorry not sorry

willyoubemyvalentine: i call being the queen

willyoubemyvalentine: christine and brooke are the princesses

infairverona: I love that for us

getlohst: omg we're sisters that's so cool

xoxogossipgirl: then what am i

willyoubemyvalentine: ur the head guard

courtjester: ur our knight in shining armor <3

courtjester: do u guys remember the buddy bench

getlohst: i hated the buddy bench

infairverona: Yeah it was bad

willyoubemyvalentine: The 3 stages are: you lose all your friends and fall into a deep state of depression, then you attempt not alive, and you finally reach such a low point that you actually use the buddy bench

courtjester: exactly

jakeyd: im gonna kill dustin

jakeyd: he's running for class president

jakeyd: HES RUNNING AGAINST ME AND I HATE IT

xoxogossipgirl: you announce that you’re going to run for class president and one day later he does the same thing….fan behavior honestly

getlohst: jenna tell jake what u heard

xoxogossipgirl: OMG YEAH HANG ON IM GONNA PM U JAKE

jakeyd: ok 

**from: xoxogossip girl to jakeyd**

xoxogossipgirl: i heard that dustin is like...paying ppl who promise to vote for him

xoxogossipgirl: and he's getting someone to come up with spirit day ideas for him

xoxogossipgirl: which is obviously against the rules

jakeyd: RECORD SCRATCH. REWIND. BACK IT UP.

jakeyd: ARE YOU KIDDING? who told u that

xoxogossipgirl: ur not gonna believe this but it was madeline

jakeyd: shit

jakeyd: im gonna kill dustin

xoxogossipgirl: chloe did u hear what madeline said

willyoubemyvalentine: yeah i heard

willyoubemyvalentine: madeline's a bitch can we even trust her? like how do we know what she said is true

courtjester: wait what 

courtjester: what did she say

getlohst: should we tell him? i mean all of us know

infairverona: I mean, Brooke told me so I don't think it's fair to keep Rich out of the loop...but also if we told him he'd probably beat Dustin up and I don't want Rich to get in trouble

courtjester: TELL ME

jakeyd: ok fine but only if you promise not to beat him up

courtjester: i promise not to beat him up

jakeyd: basically dustin is paying ppl to vote for him and to come up with spirit day ideas for him

courtjester: ....i'm about to beat this bitch up

getlohst: r i c h n o

courtjester: r i c h y e s

courtjester: jesus christ heere and mell are so annoying

courtjester: i sent them 1 (one) screenshot of the chat and they're now begging to join

jakeyd: ajklhfdasj

getlohst: they're so funny

willyoubemyvalentine: they're nerds

infairverona: Chloe! Don't be mean

getlohst: chloe!! dont be mean

courtjester: stop doing that it's creepy

courtjester: im not sending them invites because no <3

getlohst: tbh i feel like this server is already too chaotic without them

jakeyd: they probably dont care

jakeyd: i think they hate us

xoxogossipgirl: valid tbh

courtjester: yeah 

courtjester: i saw dustin smoking outside the other day

getlohst: yay! lung cancer!

**> courtjester has pinned a message to this channel!**

jakeyd: i feel bad for michael cuz he has to deal with all of those annoying white moms that go into spirit halloween

jakeyd: they flirt with him sometimes

courtjester: i wonder how he responds

getlohst: “im gay but do you want this bagged or not”

xoxogossipgirl: and teenage girls flirt with him too

xoxogossipgirl: apparently one of them was like "wow ur so hot ur eyes are pretty"

xoxogossipgirl: and he was like " thanks for the compliment but im gay and i really need this job” because she was bothering him and it was distracting

jakeyd: “hi thank you for staring at my freakishly tall nature but im gay and youre drooling”

courtjester: “hi how may i help you? oh you like my eyes well they're very much staring at your husbands ass”- michael to some white mom, probably

willyoubemyvalentine: “you're a mom? ahh makes sense with the old grandma perfume wafting over my store’

infairverona: Imagine having a job? Couldn't be me

jakeyd: well yeah you wouldnt have time for a job anyway

jakeyd: cuz of theater

courtjester: yo but fr what are we doin for halloween

courtjester: cuz i want to be daphne blake but idk we should do a group costume

jakeyd: my costume is a surprise

xoxogossipgirl: its not a surprise cuz i know what it is

xoxogossipgirl: and obviously im gonna tell everyone

jakeyd: i hate u jenna

xoxogossipgirl: awwwwww love you too

infairverona: So...what's his costume gonna be?

xoxogossipgirl: drumroll please!!!!!!!

courtjester: *drumroll*

xoxogossipgirl: he's gonna be a playboy bunny

courtjester: ......  
courtjester: i

courtjester: i...

courtjester: i

willyoubemyvalentine: you broke him jenna

getlohst: i bet u 10 bucks that he's screaming into a pillow right now

willyoubemyvalentine: no i bet that he's pacing around his room 

getlohst: oooh its a bet

infairverona: He's probably really flustered right now

jakeyd: yeah i guess that the idea of me in a playboy bunny costume is....an image

xoxogossipgirl: he's dead

courtjester: im not dead

courtjester: and brooke won the bet btw

courtjester: I HAVE AN IDEA

courtjester: i'll go as a sexy cat

courtjester: and brooke can be a sexy mouse

infairverona: OH MY GOD UR GOING AS THE PLASTIC'S HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

courtjester: exactly

getlohst: yeah i'm down 

xoxogossipgirl: christine do u want to be the heathers with me and chloe

infairverona: YES ABSOLUTELY

willyoubemyvalentine: i call chandler

xoxogossipgirl: i'll be duke

infairverona: Yay I get to be Mac!!!!!

courtjester: iconic

jakeyd: truly

courtjester: let's go trick-or-treating before the halloween party

jakeyd: yes free candy

xoxogossipgirl: absolutely

infairverona: And we can trade candy afterwards

getlohst: yes! yes absolutely

willyoubemyvalentine: i want all of the twizzlers

jakeyd: twizzlers taste like the triangle crayons that they give you at restaurants when you get the kid's menu

willyoubemyvalentine: yeah but i just like the way that twizzlers make me feel like im a little goblin eating rubber

jakeyd: ...

jakeyd: valid

courtjester: 3 days until halloween babeyyyyyy

courtjester: and then we're gonna pregame for christmas


	3. the worst groupchat ever (part three babeeeeey)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE CHATFIC! but after this i'll be writing fics for their halloween party, and then little fluff fics that take place in november, and finally christmas

willyoubemyvalentine: good morning squad

courtjester: it's 5 am why are you awake

willyoubemyvalentine: why are _you_ awake?

courtjester: touche

willyoubemyvalentine: omg italian

courtjester: STOP STEALING MY JOKES YOU BITCH

getlohst: dont call the queen a bitch

willyoubemyvalentine: gm brooke

courtjester: hi brooke 

courtjester: jake is mad at me for waking him up

willyoubemyvalentine: im assuming that u had a lil sleepover

courtjester: yes :) it was fun

getlohst: it's 5 am why are you guys awake

courtjester: i woke up at 4 and couldnt fall back asleep

willyoubemyvalentine: omg same

courtjester: it's twinnem aaaaaa

willyoubemyvalentine: good mothafuckin vibes only

courtjester: supa good vibes only

infairverona: Hi guys! 

courtjester: hi christine

xoxogossipgirl: good morning starshine

xoxogossipgirl: the earth says hello

infairverona: I woke up early to catch the sunrise

xoxogossipgirl: im only awake because i forgot to turn my ringer off and the notifs woke me up

xoxogossipgirl: the whole gang's here (minus jake)

courtjester: he's sleeping

willyoubemyvalentine: wake his ass up

courtjester: fine

willyoubemyvalentine: jesus i hate being up this early

infairverona: I think it's nice! Early to bed, early to rise and all that jazz

willyoubemyvalentine: yeah but i dont go to bed early so

jakeyd: remind me to kill rich later

xoxogossipgirl: if rich ends up dead i'm using that as evidence against you

jakeyd: haha joke's on you i can delete the message

xoxogossipgirl: as if i didn't already take a screenshot

jakeyd: absolutely not i will kill you

xoxogossipgirl: okay jason dean

courtjester: jakey could not get away with murder

jakeyd: i hate u

courtjester: that's not what you said last night

xoxogossipgirl: oop

getlohst: y'all are insane

willyoubemyvalentine: i might as well go get ready for school

xoxogossipgirl: yeah same

infairverona: I'm going to watch bootlegs byeeeeeee

courtjester: wow cant believe they left us like that

jakeyd: im leaving now

getlohst: and then there were two

**> courtjester to getlohst**

courtjester: yo i have an issue

getlohst: what's wrong?

courtjester: well 1) i think im gonna die when i see jake in his halloween costume

getlohst: valid

courtjester: and 2) i feel like im too clingy

courtjester: i feel like jake is getting sick of me

getlohst: rich,,,,,,no. the man, the myth, the legend jake dicklicker is madly in love with you

getlohst: he is def not sick of you

getlohst: jenna told me that jake told her that he's been quiet lately because he's so nervous that he's gonna say something stupid and ur gonna break up with him

courtjester: no shit?

getlohst: no shit

courtjester: that's.......wow

getlohst: aw babes u guys are the cutest couple ever

getlohst: ik u want to talk about how much u love him so go ahead

courtjester: he's just so funny and sweet

courtjester: and he sometimes says the dumbest shit and it's so fucking funny

courtjester: when he's thinking really hard about something he looks like it hurts to think

courtjester: and his handwriting is really good

courtjester: and he says shit like "wowza" and "howdy" 

courtjester: and he's uhhhhhh a really good kisser

getlohst: ok cheif imma stop you right there

courtjester: valid

xoxogossipgirl: i hate this class

courtjester: pay attention omg

xoxogossipgirl: no <3

getlohst: pay attention in class or i'll get chloe to steal your phone

xoxogossipgirl: nooooooooo i cant live without my phone

jakeyd: valid

jakeyd: but yeah i kinda wanna dip

courtjester: babe no ur failing that class u cant skip

jakeyd: i knowwwwwwwwww but i hate it here

xoxogossipgirl: what class is it

jakeyd: history

xoxogossipgirl: oh

xoxogossipgirl: yeah ur hatred of it is valid

infairverona: @willyoubemyvalentine Do I have permission to yell at them? You're the Queen so I have to ask 

willyoubemyvalentine: absolutely go ahead girlypop

infairverona: YOU GUYS NEED TO PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE I AM SICK OF YOU CALLING ME AT THREE IN THE MORNING TO ASK FOR HELP ON YOUR HOMEWORK

courtjester:....

jakeyd: valid

jakeyd: talk to u guys later


End file.
